just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
