I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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