Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
