I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize