walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
