how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize