Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Randomize
