just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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