The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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