So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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