..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
