i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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