so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
