I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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