Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MIDGETS
????
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
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