About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
