ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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