Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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