I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
