I can tuck mytits in my pants
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
