covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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