he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Randomize
