if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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