Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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