Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
