I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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