I wish I could teleport
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
