The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
