Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
