I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Randomize
