Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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