I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
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I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
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Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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