jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
