I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
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