You're completely useless in the revolution.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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