well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
