I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
