Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
