Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
