Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
So much Jack, so little girl.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
