so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I could fuck to npr.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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