she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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