My brain says no but my pants say off.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
