Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
