Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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