You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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