You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My pussy is not your playground.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.