How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
