Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
