Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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