Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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