It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Randomize