she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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