Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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