I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
