Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
