We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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