He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
