somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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