Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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