Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
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