Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
