So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
